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Recently, in the post-holiday back to work rush, I got sick (no, not that type of sick). It wasn’t serious, just a tedious cold, but it was enough to throw my routine completely off-kilter. 

I took two days “off” but continued to work at my normal pace from home, refusing to give my body the rest it needed. I got my gym gear out every night, setting an early alarm and telling myself I’d set off early the next morning before starting my day - only to wake up with barely enough energy to hit ‘snooze’ on my alarm. I booked Pilates classes, only to cancel the night (or the hour) before. I didn’t eat any nutritious foods, I drank more coffee than my body was used to. I more or less abandoned my usual routine, lost touch with the practices that help me to feel like me.

But instead of being kind to myself and accepting that I needed the rest, I resisted. I perceived my behaviour as a failure, as laziness, when really, it was just my body trying to tell me to slow down and give it a second to rebalance. 

We tend to expect the most of ourselves at all times, to meet some unrealistic standard - self-imposed and influenced by external factors, our workplaces, our friends, and perhaps most significantly, the ‘go-go-go’ culture prevalent on social media, where we celebrate the ‘grind’ and dismiss the concept of rest. Amid all the noise, we lose touch with the voice inside our head which tells us what we really need, irrespective of any external pressures. It’s that voice we need to prioritise - call it God, the universe, or instinct. Whatever it is to you, it knows best. 

I wish I’d listened to that voice earlier, and saved myself a long and arduous week resisting what my body and mind really needed. Hitting pause is not a failure; it’s a pathway to healing, and it’s one of the most important ways we can be kind to ourselves.